no one else thinks it's as funny as i do to watch someone fall.
that sense of euphoria.
laughter creeps up my throat, and i have to choke back my giggles.
i feel like they do it on purpose.
that they want me to look,
to peer into them at their weakest.
that vulnerability, that nakedness,
how in the hell do you not expect me to laugh?
it's just not the same to play some laugh track,
and pretend it never happened.
it will again.
and i will be right there
to watch as you scramble for purchase on this slippery slope.
my laugh encourages others,
and now we all think of it as a game to watch as you nose dive off the cliff side.
they're liars though.
they only laugh to fit in.
i see the fear in their eyes, same as yours once was.
and when those people that were once on my side see me start to fall,
i'll make it a hell of a good show.
but no, i've gained balance again.
i dig my feet into the mud of this earth, and revel in my victory.
i only hope that they don't notice your disappearance,
or how it's your body i've used to hold me.
no one else thinks it's funny to watch someone fall.
but you, your mouth wide open,
have the loudest laughter of all.
© natalya, 2018. All rights reserved.