Summer of 2017 came by. I did not put some anticipation to it because I know that I will be spending my summer in the "four corners of learning" as per say. It started on the last week of March. In that time, I am currently in a bad shape of emotional structure. My relationship with my friends are slowly drifting and weirdly, I grew love in my heart for my brothers. Yes, it is weird because we are siblings and we fight like UFC players when were so much younger.
At some point of my life I started questioning my decisions before all of this happened. From studying to everyone's dream of school unto leaving for another's dream school. What if I studied to the preferred school of my mother? What if I pursued the preferred undergraduate degree program of my father? or What if I did not leave and face the repercussions? I have so many What If's in my head right now and I am so frustrated to find the answers but I cannot just go out and look for them because, now everything in my life is complicatedly uncertain.
Not until my mom called me saying, "Hey, when is your summer class starting?".
"I still don't know mom. Maybe, next week." I replied.
"Oh? You still have time. I think you should pay us a visit before the start of your summer class." My mom suggested. When I heard that from her I got excited and agreed to her suggestion. It made my heart race so fast and I don't know why. Maybe I am excited because I will see my family again after 6 months or maybe I am nervous of being null again and quiet, scared to be shifting personality in front of my old folks. Whatever it is, I just think that going home has a 50-50 outcome. Either positive or negative. I restlessly packed my clothes into my bag and fixed my room before leaving so that my ex-roommate would not see any mark of laziness. I quickly did it before buying a ticket bound to my home town. I sighed nervously as I finished my tasks. "Finally, I will be home. Away from all of these worries. Finally, I can smile a real smile."
© Hankri Uy, 2018. All rights reserved.