User avatar 1493395121 Prince-Zane

1 minute

My First day!

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My First day!

by User avatar 1493395121 Prince-Zane 1 minute

-Warning Cursing and Sexual themes, also if you want to request a story just pm me or comment! :D

Zane's POV:

I walked down Diagon Alley sighing and looking around for the shops to buy my pet I soon found and entered the store, "Welcome, what would you like?" The owner said and I responded, "A black or gray owl." She nodded and brought me a black owl that had a large gray spot around its right eye, "Thank you." I said, "How much will this cost?" She shook her head, "It's free, I know about you and your honored family, so you don't have to pay anything." I smiles and nodded, I left going to find the shop to buy my wand. When arriving in the store the cashier smiled at me, "Hello, Welcome, so.. your the newest Echo in Hogwarts." He handed me the wand my parents requested (Cedar wood with a Dragon heartstring core 12 ½" and Reasonably Supple flexibility) the wand accepted me and I bought it with my money. I then got on the train to Hogwarts and feel asleep.

As the train came to a stop I flew forward slightly and fell out of the seat waking up, I got up and a group of girls walked slowly past my room and giggled, I got up and sighed noticing my face was red and it was hot in there so I quickly got out and bumped into a girl who was very pretty, "Shit..." we both whispered, I got up and helped her pick up her stuff she blushed and so did I and we both smiled. I noticed she had black hair like me and I she had pretty aqua eyes. I helped her up and she quickly ran blushing, I got up and my owl flew onto my shoulder and it made a quiet squeak and looked at me, I quickly left with my stuff and got on the boats to go to Hogwarts. When we arrived at Hogwarts I walked in the mess hall and was followed by the other new students and we started to get sorted into our houses I was first and the sorting hat said, "Slytherin!" And the Slytherin students clapped and I sat at there table, next was the pretty girl and the sorting hat said...

  • #hogwarts

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Prince-Zane

@Slytherin Knight
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What should be next?!

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Prince-Zane @Slytherin Knight

The data logs have contracted a virus...

Prince-Zane @Slytherin Knight

This comment was from an old story and now isn't in this topic.

Lament @Lamenting-Lesbian

So as I was reading through the first chapter, being the absolute kill-joy that I am, I instantly began nitpicking through your work. This is what I found:

1- There seems to be some grammatical errors that aren't really that bad but still irk the hell out of me.

2- The flow of a lot of the sentences seemed really off. There were a lot of parts that were in desperate need of pun... See more

Sarah-Potter @aleshathedragon

I have a question, about who the girl should be, and I think you already know it.

Prince-Zane @Slytherin Knight

Maybe you know maybe you dont..

Sarah-Potter @aleshathedragon

wow misunderstood my question big time

Sarah-Potter @aleshathedragon

I was going to ask if Sarah could be the girl.