You do not deserve to be called by your name. You are like Voldemort...he who shall not be named. The bad guy. I want you to suffer as much as you made me suffer. I fell for you tricks, fake sympathy, false affection. You did not want me for my mind, my soul, but for your own selfish pleasures. You used me to get what you wanted. Not to treat me the way that i deserved but as an object. Not treasured either but on the same level as a used rag. A fucking rag doll. What person wants to be treated that way especially from someone who claims to love them. You DO NOT know what love is. You made the word love an obligation. It meant nothing to me. I DID NOT LOVE YOU! I hate you!
To this day, I can not believe how blind i was to it all. It makes me laugh not in humor, in sadness, when i think of why the hell i stayed with you. I blamed myself...over and over and over again. Your temper was my doing as if every fight was cause of me stepping out of line. No matter how hard i pushed, you would force yourself onto me, as if consent were never in your vocabulary. All my protests went in one ear then right out the other. Get a hearing aid for God's sake. Just because I was your "girlfriend" and that i said yes to start, if i say no the no means no god damn it. How could you force me to do those things. Using my freedom to leave and taking it. I had a right to leave. I had rights. You took too much from me.
It seems like the memories will never go away. Horrible haunting nightmares that will not stop. I know they will. Someday. You were a mistake. Something that should never have happened. I let it. I am stupid for trusting you, but I am smart as fuck for leaving you. There is a long list of people who love me who would like to hurt you. You do not deserve to find someone to love. I hope one day you will get what you deserve.
I am not broken. You did not break me. I am a survivor. You did not bring me down. You do not have power over me any longer. I am happy now. Although you may think that we had an "epic" love. We did not. All we had was a mistake. You do not deserve to say you were with me. Shut your god damn mouth. I am stronger. You are weak. You are nothing but a piece of shit. Do not ever think that you are a good man.You are lower then nothing. Scum. Dirt. Shit. I am a queen. A goddess. I will only thrive like a flower. You should rot. Do not ever think of me. Forget me. You are nothing but a monster. I have slayed and defeated you. I won this battle You lost.
I am a survivor. Not a victim. Sympathy is not something i want or need. I am NOT a victim.
Sincerely, the hero
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