“Be comfortable in your own skin,” is a phrase from the Dark Ages that doesn’t really apply to the 51st century.
That’s partially because we have more self-esteem issues. Partially because we’re under more pressure to be beautiful than our 21st century counterparts. But it’s mostly because the majority of the population isn’t wearing their own skin.
Let me explain.
So, back in the Dark Ages, a few people began to play around with the arcane art of plastic surgery. They were adorably amazed with the results – people getting new noses! New faces! New bodies! Fancy that. So, zoom forward a few decades, and people wanted something better. Something subtler. So the surgeons improved their techniques and made the plastic more malleable and authentic than before.
But the ugly rich still weren’t satisfied. They didn’t want plastic - they wanted the authentic, real thing.
And so the Body Store was established.
A multinational corporation with branches across the globe, the Body Store sells the most beautiful products. Like almond shaped, hazelnut eyes. Or plump, pale pink lips. They also have smooth, clear, bronze skin for sale, available in five different sizes.
Seriously, they stock everything. You can enter the Store as one person and leave as a completely different one - it is so much fun. And the Body Store isn’t one of those fake stores that try to fob you off with strengthened plastic or silicone.
They make their products from the real thing.
See, they have these farms, all across the world. There’s one or two in Eastern Europe, a few in South East Asia, a couple in sub-Saharan Africa and a ton in Latin America. Each beast in the farm is top quality, first class, and well taken care of until harvest day. It’s expensive to run such an honest, organic system across the globe, but the Store does all this because they want to give us the best choices possible.
However, back when it was first established, many people failed to appreciate this generous variety of choice. There was a lot of protest and lobbying against this simple, elegant system, with some even suggesting that the Body Store was immoral and wrong. These critics didn’t seem to understand the difference between the human customer and the farm beasts. But the Store was always calm and eloquent on the matter:
“Although the beast and the customer may look similar, there are certainly a few aspects that make them different - for one, the gap in intelligence. Our customers are well spoken and well educated in the arts of consuming products and observing advertisements. The beasts, however, don’t even know the difference between a 747-bQ3 catalogue and an EsTTyu59 catalogue. Another distinction is priorities. We strive to have the best experiences, the best bodies and the best technology available. This need for more is severely lacking in the beasts - they are, poor things, always afflicted with a state of contentment. Finally, the most important difference. What ultimately sets a human from a beast is their Body Shop membership card! We either work for you or you work for us. That’s the real big difference.”
So as long as you have your membership card, you’re fine.
I just… may have misplaced mine.
© Aimee Watson, 2018. All rights reserved.