It wasn't a big deal. It never was supposed to be. Why would it be a big deal? What's in the past remains in the past, doesn't it? Who am I fooling? Of course it doesn't. It never has, never will. People, things, incidents and memories from your past are part of you. No matter how much you change, hey'll always follow you, like unwanted shadows. My unwanted shadow is a person. Not someone of major importance. Except for the fact that he...I can't even say it out loud. My therapist encourages me to. "It's been a year, Emily. You need to be able to talk," she says to me every time I see her. I just shrug and play with the colourful strings of my sweater. I don't care anymore. It was a betrayal, not really a minor one but I'm at a point where I couldn't care less.
I couldn't care less about him, about us, about what happened. I couldn't care less about the fact that he... I still can't say it. But now, he's back. And maybe he's back to finish what had been started by the chain of events. The fire is barely sputtering and I'm afraid that he is the one spark that will rekindle it, all of it, all the pain and hurt and nightmares. But for now, I must forgive him. Forget it. Forgive him for what he did. Forgive him for leaving without an explanation. Just forgive and forget.
But before I forgive him, or decide not to, I guess it's better if I start with a background story.
It was junior year. It was the most boring junior year. I had Noah, my best friend who always had a new girfriend or boyfriend every week. And there was me, the girl in the centre of everything. The captain of the cheerleading team, the girl with the perfect life. The blonde hair, blue eyes girl who did nothing wrong. And there was Justin, my boyfriend, one of those quiet, adorable smart kids in class but at the same time, the school's quarterback. We were the It Couple of our school. Life was simple. Life was good. But then, he came and wrecked my perfectly aligned line into a thrilling and chaotic mass of destruction.
"Noah, I know that we're best friends but can you please finish all your sex stuff before you come meet me at my locker. Every single day, I come to school to see my best friend with a cheerleader or football player. How have you not dated every single person in the school yet?" I asked Noah, pretending to be annoyed but I couldn't stop the annoying 'shaking-my-head' smile from creeping onto my face.
"Well, my dear Emily Hawthorne, it really isn't my fault that every one loves me," he replied, with a devilish grin. "Besides, I have dated everyone worth dating who isn't taken. They just keep coming back for round two. Besides, the many advantages of being openly pansexual is that I have more people to date than someone straight."
"I will never understand how your mind works," I replied, ignoring the girl next to Noah who was too engrossed in her phone to have heard our conversation.
"Hey, Emily!" she greeted me.
"Hi!" I said back, stuck in a slightly awkward position as I had no idea who she was. I gestured towards Noah, who was observing the scene with a slightly amused grin.
'Malissa" he mouthed at me.
"Malissa, right?" I asked.
"It's Charlotte. It's okay. I hadn't expected you to know me. I'm new. My twin brother and I just moved in. Noah's told me about you."
"Oh. What's your brother's name?"
"Reese. He's a pain in the ass, so if I were you I'd hope to never cross paths with him." Charlotte seemed pretty nice. I should probably warn her about Noah before she got her heart broken.
"Hey, Em," Justin's voice said. I immediately felt a smile come on.
"Justin," I replied, turning around for a kiss.
"And she says I am the one whose into excessive PDA," Noah grumbled.
"It's not excessive," I replied, breaking away and going towards my English class as the others began to file away as well. I sat down in the middle seat. The whole school new that the front seat made teachers look at you first and the back seat made them suspicious. Being early, I was the only one in class at the time. Tat was, until he walked in, with an air of confidence around him, but not arrogance. He sat down casually next to me.
"Hi, I'm Reese," he said, staring at me with those captivating grey eyes as he pushed back some of his tousled jet black hair. And that was when I knew that I was screwed.
hey! I'm Anu and this is my first novel on here. I really hope you guys like it. Drop indoor comments and thoughts.
Nutella sandwiches for everyone!
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