Default avatar Jordan Clement

1 min.

Anti-Psycho-Me

Image7

Anti-Psycho-Me

Imagine if your soul; everything you are, your personality, your identity, your moral, was slowly pried from its home... you...

Imagine if your soul was attached to your body with tendrils reaching out all around to fit itself in. Each tendril is a part of you, a piece of your soul sending information to your brain telling you how to act and how to feel.

Imagine if your soul had been slowly decaying and torn from its original home, thrown off into a void above you where you just can't reach it no matter how hard you tried to get it back!

I'm going to tell you how that feels...

... First Week ...

A glimmer of hope fills me, knowing that this might solve my problems... or at least help...Thinking that a little bit of help from my Doctors would okay, because, I thought they knew everything...

... Second Week ...

Finally! Relief from my daily struggles is a feeling not many get to understand. Things move slower than usually. No haunting voices, no moving objects. Everything is starting to look more real.

... Third Week ...

Anger and Frustration flow through my veins, but I don't know why. What have I done? Why am I feeling this way? Nobody has done anything to me. I thought this was working...

... Fourth Week ...

...Silence... Shh... Don't make a noise... You will disturb him from his empty mind... Quiet ... Lonely ... Not a single thought to think about ... Open yet captured by the world around him ... he sees everything yet doesn't look at anything... he hears the voices of loved ones, yet he does not speak... He doesn't feel any pain... He doesn't Feel... Anything.

...Fifth Week...

Spaced and still so silent. My mind is a lockbox for anything tangible or sensible. Just a blank canvas for me to see. No stimulus, no emotion, no mind. This must be his soul, no? No, his soul is not to blame. Over the past few weeks his soul has been stripped from his body and mind, cast away for him to find it another day. We thought it would work, they always do.

...Now Repeat...

Over and over and over and over...

...Two Years later...

My soul has dripped out of the void above me... Thankfully the soul is a mealiable thing. Otherwise I would have been left with a broken irreplaceable soul for myself to cope with. Never will I be the same from these prescribed medications... But still, the nightmare continues. No matter what we tell them, they always want to do it all over again.

© Jordan Clement, 2019. All rights reserved.

Default avatar

Jordan Clement

@jordanclement
Follow

This is the cycle of Antipsychotic prescriptions, trying them over and over and over to find the right one, even though some people don't have one that is suitable.

Comments

Default avatar