Why do I always try so hard to avoid people and then end up being close to them? Why am I this stupid?
The thing that hurts the most is when somebody that I truly love is hurting and don't want my help, like why not let e hurt with you? I want to be with you, I want to be right next to you yet you avoid me. Do you know what you do to me while doing that? Do you get that I get anxiety and can't control my anger when I can't help you get through a bad experience? I just don't want to have to lose another person that is important to me, somebody that makes you feel like it has been a lifetime since you met even when you met a few months or years ago. Do you think it is easy for me to open up to people and have a great time with them? Do you even know what you mean to me?
The amount of mix feelings I have right now can't even keep up with me, I haven't felt like this in so long and when I care the most about you this is what is happening. I must be a fool for thinking you could be somewhat different. I really have hopes that you come to your senses and make it to me, yes! make it up to me, the only person that has been there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to you. The one that has been strong through it all just so you can lean on somebody and help you stand up when you fall.
I can't take seeing you so broken, I should be the broken one trying to fix myself in silence while you heal me with your happiness without knowing you are doing so. I don't want your tears falling to my broken heart making the glue fall off while the pieces break apart once again. Can you imagine two broken people together not fixing each other? I can't function without your ratian happiness, with your broken image with the sad eyes you give me. With the way you break my shatter pieces yet again, the way you talk to me makes my soul even weaker than before. MY demons have even notice that only you are my strength and yet you have left me hoping I have never been so close to you to witness this side of you, the side that just wants to give up and don't care about me anymore, the side that just tells me to mind my business. The one thing I hate the most is that once you find yourself again I will be here trying to heal myself from your damage and it will take the longest, I will forgive you but will never forget the damage you have done to my broken mess. I will be left alone fixing all of myself alone yet again while trying to fix you in the process....
Ever met a person that felt like home?
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