I dead a mouth ago i have no memory of my past life it's weird and also I guess I'm a god now. I was walking around that day and whootah came up ta meh. "Hello your majesty, what brings you here?" Whootah said kindly. "Nothing what ahoot you mr.Whootah" I said with finger guns. "Eyyy!! nice pun miss.Sam, you really are Samthing" he said with a chuckle. "Nice dude owl take that as a compliment" I said with a little laugh. "huehuehue you so shuilly!" He said. "Hehe ok mr.whootah have ya seen da other war gods I need to do some training" I said with the smile.
"No ma'm, you should check the west there probably finding some condoms for today's training" he said with a wink. "Omg dude dis an't no condom party this is just training" I said blushing and continued. "Welp bye mr.whootah"I finished. "Bye have fun in training~" he sang. After that I ran to the store. I saw a weird guy with a track suit on with a white scarf. I think his name is yato. "ZZzzzz Apples ZZzz training" he said in his sleep. The heck does he mean by that. Oh well I should just wait I guess. So I sat in the floor. "WAKE UP HELP ME TRAIN PLEASE" I yelled in his ear. "AAAAHHH!!!!" He screamed in surprised. "WHOOTAH!!! I TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES I WILL NOT WEAR YOUR BRAND NEW BIKINIS!!!" He screeched. "What are ya talking about I'm here for you to teach me the war god ways and wtf man"I said. "Oh..um....alright let's get started then" he said awkwardly. "K dude what do I do first" "well first you have to clean the temples for scaring me young lady" he says smirking. "Ok one IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU and two fine where's ya temple"I said. "In your ass" he said seriously. "OH HELL NO dude be serious" I said with a squeaky voice. " I AM serious unless you want to be Whootah's bikini model?" He says calmly. "Nope why you doing this to me" I asked him. "Cause I want you to leave me the hell ALONE!!! THATS WHY!?!!?" He yelled as his eyes go blood red. "YEAH BUT THE REASON THAT I CAME TO YOU IS CUSE I THINK YOU WERE THE BEST OUT OF ALL OF THEM " i said starting to cry. "All you do it treat me like I'm a nobody why yato WHY?!?!?"I finished. "Ok, ok fine but calm your tits!!, look I'm sorry ok? I just get cranky when I'm awake that's why, I'm sorry that I yelled at you may I be forgiven please?" he said with puppy eyes. God dammit he knows I can't resist the puppy dog eyes shit. the cry into a laugh. "DUDE YOU KNOW I WAS FAKING IT RIGHT HAHAHHAA YOU SHOULD OF SAW YOUR FACE HAHAH" I laughed like crazy. "Oh, well fuck you too bitch!!!!" He yelled. I stopped for some reason. "Says the person who's a bitch can you just take a joke" I said quietly. " I heard that and Whootah's a bitch not me!!!" He said. "YYYEAAAHHH?!?!?!" A wild whootah screamed out of nowhere. "Wow ok then" I said In another quite voice. "Well i guess that's my cue to leave, by the way why did you wake me up all of a sudden?" He asked tilting his head."Well you see I'm new and I wanted to see if I can get train by you because no one else would do it but I guess, and that's a no for you I guess, also I'm sorry for waking you up haha well I guess bye FOR NOW " I said in a whisper and the last part was loud and then I walked out a door with a smirk on my face and eyes glaring. So I walk down the street. I got bored so I went to the CATacombs witch was in my back yard. "Who dares enter the Catacombs, of lord kindle" a deep voice echoes through the cave. "Dude it's me Sam" I said kindly. "Ah mistress Sam, welcome! Do you wish to see the lord?" A black cat says as he exits the cave. "Oh yes I was just stoping bye lord kindle so how is your catocome doing" I asked. "Hahahaha oh my!!! Mistress Sam!!! I am entirely sorry but I'm not the lord kindle, I am Bilo a servant of the lord" he purrs in amusement. "Oh I'm entirely sorry for mistaking you for lord kindle" I said apologetically. "It's quite alright miss.Sam, come I will take you the REAL lord kindle" he says swishing his tail and walking back into the dark caves."...ok mr.bilo" I said following him. "Now be careful where you step these rocky paths are 100 years old the floors of this cave are covered in huge sharp spikes" he says kindly. "Ok d-dude" I said nervously. "Now I must warn you to stay close to me as much as possible, there are creatures lurking in the dark holes all around us. I wouldn't want you to get hurt by their clubs of Amber" he meows. “Oh my ok then dude are we almost there yet” I said happily but in all reality I was scared as fuck going in here. "Almost there miss, be patient" he said.
© Samantha Bratcher, 2019. All rights reserved.