Isn't it difficult to fall without someone catching you?
Imagine dropping from a 100-floor building expecting to be hauled to a net or a rope, only to crash into a billion shards like rain on a storm, 'cause that's how it feels like to have a one sided crush--- or love.
And that is the problem of 17-year old Annie. She is rigid, soaking under a sword-like downpour, shivering not from the cold but from the sight of her childhood crush hugging her best friend.
How unfortunate, how cruel, how --- she does not know what else. Her heart is clamp and torn and mangled and impossibly broken to the nth level. She is betrayed and heartbroken, world turned upside down with ineffable pain.
Her body trembles, feeling the sobs but not hearing it amidst the rain. She feels the ground tethering or is it her body going to faint...
Why, Jane? She finds herself asking her bestest friend on her thoughts, Why? She was supposed to confess to him now, so why? Why?
Annie, picks her fallen umbrella, covers her tear-stricken face with it and heads home.
Jane never intended for this to happen.
She did not understand what was so special about Sean and Annie never admitted it but she has an unrequited love for him since they were what, eight?
So she started to stalk him. It was easy, the three of them are classmates ever since forever and Jane and Sean are neighbors. What could possibly go wrong? There's one.
He was plain. Sure, he is smart and quiet and neat and a gentleman and - oh! Alright, fine. He is ideal. He is ideal to anyone but her, not her because it is utter betrayal to Annie.
And she is going to confess to him this afternoon.
Jane pretended to be happy for her. She really did but her heart twists and she chastises it for feeling that way yet she can't help it.
That afternoon it was raining hard - too hard, like it wasn't droplets hitting her but eggs and she forgot to bring an umbrella. Sky is dark as well as her heart. She came not to intrude or anything but to torment herself. She will watch her closest and dearest friend confess to her -- what? What is Sean for Jane exactly? Crush, like, love?
What does it matter, I'm here like an idiot, she thinks.
Or a martyr.
Stopping on the paved sidewalk, she waits for any of them to show up on the covered court visible across from where she stands. The road on her left is still busy with cars whooshing swiftly.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Jane wasn't paying enough attention to her surroundings and she didn't notice the people passing by or the man that tripped, accidentally pushing her to the road while a car is careening towards her nonstop.
She only saw the headlights then nothing.
She hears a voice, too familiar. When she opens her eyes she sees a shirt, then looking up, a face.
"Are you hurt?"
Sean inspects Jane like a hawk. He had forgotten about his umbrella and went to drag Jane out of that road. The man that bumped her is incessantly apologizing and he tap his shoulder to say it's okay.
But Jane is motionless, looking at the ground like it would melt. "Jane"
"I'm okay." she says, stepping away from his grasp. He forgot that he was holding her and he felt embarrassed. "Thank you. I think you just saved my life"
Yes, he did. He smiles at her wiping his eyes from all the rain. He fetch his umbrella and gave it to Jane.
"I'm going to that covered court anyway, you need it more than I do." he says, moving towards the meeting place.
Sean halts. It was not because of Jane. Was that Annie he saw?
Annie, a portrait in blue.
Not of any color blue but of blue the sad, melancholic hue. Then, it wasn't her. Her smiles are as warm as the summer sun, infectious and soothing. Those smiles, those toothy grins and belly laughs is Annie. Encouraging, energetic, friendly, Annie. Who laughs at the lamest of his jokes, who once protected him from a bully. Her, protecting him. That was something. She is strong and kind and always, always she smiles even when it hurts.
Not the girl who looked like her world is anything but bliss as she stumbled away.
But it is her.
Sean felt the happiness slipping away like sand on his fist. What just happened? He is running now, towards the covered court. Jane must have said something but he did not heed her.
All he could think of was the morning Annie told him to meet her, the exhilaration and excitement he could hardly pent and the love that has been stored for ten years. The possibility of confessing - not her but him.
Whatever it was Annie needed from him he was more than determined to finally fess up. Until...
He could not reach her. She is long gone. Sean sighs, the deepest one he could muster. He can't help but feeling like the chance is never going to present itself again.
He could have run harder or walk to their house or call her but his cowardice takes over. His 'torpe' attitude replaces the confidence he felt moments ago and his love will remain one-sided, unrequited and buried.
© SEVEN, 2019. All rights reserved.