All her senses got numb, she stood, frozen in time. All she heard was, "He is no more".
And the phone slipped from her hand and she sat on the ground. She couldn't understand nor analyse what just happened.
Thousands of things rushed into her head, blocking her power to connect to reality.
There were several unanswered questions, "How is it possible? How could he do that? He wasn't one of those weak people who could take his own life? But he dropped me home yesterday, he looked all good and spoke nicely, then why? He never looked like he was sad. He was a happy-go-lucky person who would always do something to bring a smile. He didn't have any signs of being depressed or suicidal.
He was sitting next to me in class last time we met. That's just not possible. He can't die. He can never take that step. He should have spoken up about it to someone if he had problems. We were always there for him. Why didn't he tell any of us about it. Was that the reason he asked me for a hug last time?
He used to lit us all up with his jokes and stupid things he did. He just can't, he won't do it. That's impossible. No, he can't leave us and go."
She gathers all her strength as she tries to grab her phone and calls her class teacher, "Is it true?" And in a low tone, the voice murmured, "Yes, my child it's all true, but don't disclose. I just met his parents. I can't talk. Bye!". Hangs up abruptly.
She scratched her head in dismay,she couldn't resist and made few calls to their mutual friends and tried to gather as much information as she could. She got to know, he called up four of their classmates and only them yeah, he did sound worried as if he was in some kind of rush.
He was asking for money, which wasn't a small amount for college students in their twenties to afford. They were in freshman year. The friends enquired why he needs such a huge amount, because though they wanted to help they must get their parents approval who could help, but he hung up on them in less than ten seconds. He felt like they can't help him in any way and no one would. He was just looking for a 'Yes/No'.
Today was that moment, when reality hit her hard, like a hammer in head shot straight. She had lost a friend, they were classmates. Someone she used to meet almost each day. They used to talk in classes and shared so many funny stories in recess together, sometimes she used to get him lunch too. For the first time, he dropped her home two days ago.
That flashback was going on repeat in her head. The way they walked, giggling past the college gate to the parking lot, and she sat on his black Activa stumbling.
He asked her if she has ever driven any vehicle in this city yet. She was disappointed and denies.
Her eyes rolled as she stared with that puppy look on her face.
Like gentleman, without a second thought, he handed her the keys to ride to her home. He plugged his earphones on, high beats music in and the guy was lost in his own rail of thoughts, she rode all the way on the calm and quiet road between the woods, enjoying the cold breeze.
Without even realising they reached her home in no time.
She thanked him. He smirked and teased, "Won't you give me a hug in return?" His face flashed in front of her eyes everytime she thought about the little things they shared.
She just couldn't stop thinking about him.
He wasn't good at studies and would ask her for help. And she did selflessly whenever she could with his assignments and wrote him notes too.
But her heart was sinking, as the dusk each minute, her thoughts were eating her up. Everything was like a bad dream she could not shake off. She wished to wake up from this nightmare.
The self introspection took over her. Shooting pointless questions of self-doubt. "Why couldn't she be a better friend? Why didn't he call her up to share those feelings?"
If she would have helped him in any way, he would have been with her today. The grief was so strong that it became the nauseating pain. She sobbed whole night till she finally meets him in her dream again.
No one knew what happened and why.
Another restless soul just lost a lifeless unappreciated body trying to set itself free, which now would be trapped in this world filled with chaos of unfulfilled desires.
That's the unpredictable side of life and the brutal honest side of pain the death gives to the soul.
There are numerous small things that are going around us each minute. But we're too busy with our lives, ignorance has overpowered the human virtues of empathy and concern. We don't observe the little things. We never realise the importance of life and number of lives we touch on our way.
Life is so short, it's just so disturbing and painful, that a person finds it a lot easier to choose this wrong path instead calling out for help.A world where all that person needs is someone by his side to hold on to in the storms.
Why our life revolves around a few handful people we know and we love? Why we expect only from them to help us? Why we only go to them for any help? And when they don't help us or can't understand us. We feel no one will ever be able to walk in our shoes. We feel alone, unwanted, lonely and depressed. The need for money, love, care and freedom can make anyone feel bounded in this vicious cycle of unfulfilled dreams.
We can never completely understand a human mind and the way it functions.
Human psychology is a mysterious study of such behaviours and their traits. Realisation of the fact how important it is to understand that all emotions are normal.
Yeah, there are all the positive and negative emotions that make us a complete human being who can feel the happiness,the sadness, anger, grief, love, joy and a thousand more feelings in different situations.
Unfortunately, the truth is there isn't a human being who can be declared as a perfectly normal person. Yes, no one. That is just a myth.
From frequent mood swings, anxiety to depression,from OCD to extremes of narcissism. These are just different levels that helps to track how actually our mind works and visibility among several kinds of people.
There is no one spared without a mental disorder if you go deep at the micro-level of the traits, that are just way we behave. The more you know and understand about the psychology, the more you will be able to empathize and help someone else,where most important among all, there is one and that's 'You' first.
Awareness is the key. We need the proper treatment, care and love to heal and maintain the balance. We need to be more kind to ourselves. A life that attains constant happiness is a mirage. Happiness can't be achieved but only be pursued a little bit each moment we breathe.
World is a materialistic dream that tempts us, we are all trapped in this web, that if we have everything we will be happy. This isn't real.
Neither all rich people are always happy nor all happy people are always rich.
The perseverance to deal with problems, the perspective is the bottom line.
A person with chronic anxiety or depression can pretend to be happy around people but they end up at a sad note when they give up.
Being at mental peace must be the prime aim in our lives. We must start and work to find our own true self in the world full of distractions.
We must find our way to help ourself first and others along our journey to be a better soul.
It is a continuous process, so be on the track and pursue happiness that shines from smiles, love that melts hearts and liveliness that lifts up the spirits.
Being kind is all it takes. We need to give the little push of inspiration and motivation each time we feel low.
There is always something great on it's way.
We just need to hold ourselves tightly in rough times.
We must smile more often, understand hardships are part of this rollercoaster life.
There is no fun without thrills and chills.
I love you all and i will always beby your side.