Default avatar Jesse Soderstrom

3 mins.

Tuna Fish Exchange

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Tuna Fish Exchange

Theme:

What it's like when A semi-retired sixty something man tries to reconnect with his thrill-seeking son.


Plot:

Jon wants to reconnect with his son, but his presence disturbs Phil, because all Jon has only ever been a faceless shadow, who pays the bills.


Characters: Jon (the dad), Phil (the son), Zap (friend), Eddy (fellow jumper)


Summary

Jon has agreed to drive his sedan out to a big field, to go pick up Phil and his buddies after they go skydiving. He watches his son descending out of the clouds and thinks he is going too fast and tries to run and catch him, but sprains his ankle in a gopher hole. Phil is very upset with his dad, for hurting himself and for trying after all those years of just being in the background, and not participating. After yelling at his dad for coming out at all, Jon calls a cab and pays the driver hundreds of dollars to drive the boys. Jon sits on the open trunk and eats a can of tuna fish, and Phil doesn't come back.


Character outline:

Jon

-finally feels like he has time, and is realizing how lonely he is.

-he is so much a workaholic, because that's how he believes he shows his love.


Phil

-resistant to change his mind about his dad, and eventually doesn't at the end, sorry no happy endings on this one.

-he makes every effort to conceal his fun-loving self he shows his friends, when his dad is there.


Summary expansion

Every line of the summary should be the basis of a larger paragraph here, with this format for the sentences:

-the setup

-disaster 1

-disaster 2

-disaster 3

-end


1) Jon has agreed to drive his sedan out to a big field, to go pick up Phil and his buddies after they go skydiving.


Jon carefully pulls up to the field, where he is supposed to pick up his son. He risks driving into the field, gets halfway and the car is high centered on a mound of grass and dirt. He gets out, and looks underneath, unloads the trunk and finds the car has no jack. He checks his phone but doesn't understand the internet thing on it so he can't look up a tow truck.


2) He watches his son descending out of the clouds and thinks he is going too fast and tries to run and catch him, but sprains his ankle in a gopher hole.


He sees the dark human shapes coming out of the clouds really fast and is excited. He sees Phil falling and runs to catch him but he sprains his ankle in a gopher hole. Through the pain he reaches out at the boy and feels his heart clench. He spills his heart medication on the grass and can only find one. His son lands safely.



3) Phil is very upset with his dad, for hurting himself and for trying after all those years of just being in the background, and not participating.


Phil won't laugh at his friends joke. He won't tell his dad why they call him chesty. Jon tries to share his can of tuna, zap takes a bite, and Phil explodes. Phil figures out that the car won't go when he gets in and can't drive off. He gets out looking even more pissed.


4) After yelling at his dad for coming out at all, Jon calls a cab and pays the driver hundreds of dollars to drive the boys.


The cab shows up. Phil questions Jon, about why he is paying. Jon says he feels sorry that he can't drive him home, and Phil says something awful to him sounding ungrateful. The guys get in the car, and Phil rolls up the window on his side and locks the door. Jon limps to the other side of the cab, and leans in and shakes the hand of each of his friends, looks at Jon and says he loves him, Jon flips him off pretending to scratch the side of his face as he had done so often two decades before, when he was in high school. Jon tells the cab to leave.


5) Jon sits on the open trunk and eats a can of tuna fish, and Phil doesn't come back.


Jon sits in the driver seat and looks out over the field, it's almost afternoon. He tries to use the gps to get a tow, but he's tired and in pain. He opens the door and puts his left foot out too quickly, forgetting the doors bounces back quickly, and his bad ankle is jammed in the crook of the door. He gets to the back of the car and remembers his extra can of tuna fish, but realized that Phil had put the opener in his pocket, before he left. The end.

© Jesse Soderstrom, 2019. All rights reserved.

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Jesse Soderstrom

@jessesoderstrom
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kimberly @kimberlypickens
The story is very professionally done. The. Idea is very original and it was an enjoyable read.